True story: I sat opposite a man on the overground who wasn’t wearing a mask. He was reading a book titled How Not To Die.
News story: today I was longlisted for the 2021 Desmond Elliott prize.
Love story: buttering toast produces a horrible, scratching sound. If you heard it with your eyes closed (and your nose blocked), you’d shudder. But the knowledge of what it is (tasty), means it’s transformed. We hear: toast, not: scrape. I sometimes forget that sensory experience is subjective, but I find it helpful to remember when I’m writing: it helps me get into particulars, not just how something sounds, but how the person hearing it, and their specific situation and mood, shapes that sound.
Tall story: yes, I am writing.
Short story: Punchline is airing on BBC Radio 4 on Friday 30 April.
Sob story: I made some adjustments to Sally Rooney’s recently revealed book cover and posted it online. A reply guy kindly got in touch to tell me it wasn’t real.
Horror story: I had a dream that I dropped a live mouse from a high window. It let out a long painful shriek as it fell that was the most concentrated and illustrative signal of pain, cruelty, and impending death I have ever heard. And I didn’t even hear it! It was a dream! The sound never actually existed!
Bedtime story: sorry to end on that. Please take this moment to think of something else. For example, this. Or this.
There's something beautiful about the scrapey toast thing and I feel like that's going to stay with me for a long time