I’m allergic to my son. I discovered when he was four year’s old, and since, I haven’t known what to do. When he enters the room, I sneeze. When he leaves the room, my airways clear and I breathe in air like I’ve sucked a mint. Sharp, alive, fresh.
I was thinking about pretending this newsletter was written by a different, anonymous person every time – as if I was hosting confessions. Would anyone believe me? Or, fairly, would they just think no one is allergic to their son. I guess I’ll never know. I’m not actually going to do it.
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For the last week, whenever I’ve begun to write in the morning before work, the first words I’ve gone to put on the page are:
Listen
Do you want to know a secret?
Do you promise not to tell?
It’s a good opener, voice there, pulling you in. And it’s relevant to the project I’m writing at the moment. But sadly it’s The Beatles.
I’m interested in stealing. Accidental or not. I’m never clear on who my influences are, only because how do you draw the line between influence and interest? Between what I like to read and what helps me write? Any book I read makes me think about writing, even if it’s well not like that.
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It was amazing to hear my short story Punchline on Radio 4 recently. Ian McMillan called it ‘mysterious and beautifully-written’. It’s 15 minutes long and you can listen to it here. That’s the last plug it gets.
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I posted an Instagram story asking: what do you want me to write on in my Substack?
Biking!
I used to cycle every day, but now that I work from home it’s far less. Recently I’ve been cycling more and there are a few things that come back: that you simply forget when you’re not on a bike. One is the song that plays in my head when I go past certain cars, ones that aren’t leaving me much space, or that approach junctions and don’t seem to plan on stopping. Ready? Pick whatever tune you fancy, it’s the words that are important:
Please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me car near me.
[Then repeat]
Advice for soon-to-be graduates on navigating life?
The best thing I did on graduating was to accept a job I didn’t actually want. I wanted to be in London, so I took a job that meant I could move there. The job produced a great friend, a great enemy, and some good stories. When you graduate, you aren’t going to suddenly be where you want to be in life, doing what you want to do (or even know the answer to either of those questions) so prioritising meeting new people, doing new things, I think that’s what’s important. Hard right now, but spontaneity is coming back !
This does not mean my advice is: take a job you don’t want. More like, don’t expect everything to be perfect.
What’s a substack?
Ha, ha.
Snack preferences
There is a multipack bag of crisps on top of the kitchen cupboard which my boyfriend and I call several names: the cursed bag, the bag of doom, etc. At the moment, it contains cheese and onion hula hoops. There’s always a flavour left in the multipack that you don’t want to actually eat and yes, it’s always cheese and onion.
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You can win a signed copy of little scratch, along with 150+ other prizes in the raffle in solidarity with Sisters Uncut & Gypsy, Roma & Traveller groups. Raffle tickets are £2 each and the event is tonight (and free).
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I was going through my email drafts recently and found this:
There is always power and power demands powerlessness. This might exist only within a dynamic — someone who is powerless with another will be powerful with someone else. The trick, if someone seems powerful, is to imagine them when they are not.
I think I wrote it, but I don’t remember writing it. I’ll never know how it got there. Maybe it’s The Beatles.